In an ET exclusive, only our Kevin Frazier goes behind the scenes of the video for “You Lost Me” with Christina Aguilera as she opens up about causing controversy and reveals how she turns her private pain into inspiration.

On the set, the singer says she didn’t aim to stir up controversy by kissing another girl in her last video, saying it didn’t even occur to her because she’s so comfortable with her sexuality.

As a new mom, she says she has no plans to tame her antics, stating to Kevin, “It’s like telling a painter, ‘don’t paint nude women now that you’ve become a parent.’ You still have to express yourself as a human being. Especially, I think as a woman, we’re so shamed of our sexuality … I have to keep in touch with myself as an artist and be able to express all sides of myself.”

It’s an issue she won’t shield her son Max Bratman from either, she says, “When you shame a subject like sexuality, that’s when you raise the perverts.”

When it comes to raising her own family, “For now, I’m so good with one!” she says with a laugh, adding she wants more kids “eventually, in the future.”

Out of mommy mode, she’s all business! Her new single is a ballad, so she had a vision of how the video should play out. “I wanted a very raw and real feeling,” she says of the shoot, which features a scene with the singer in a red-lit room with a bare bed. As the set falls apart and is burnt down while cameras roll, she reveals her goal is to capture the emotions that happen when “your relationship with this person is sort of being destroyed right before your eyes.”

Although she did not write the song or draw from a relationship in which somebody cheated on her, Christina channels pain from other areas in her private life. “It can come from your childhood, it can come from a bad day,” she says of evoking emotions on command. “Pain is almost a comfort zone, in a way.”

However, that pain can be turned into a positive. “At times, it can come from a very inspiring place,” she says. “This video will take you from a very dark place … pretty soon you’ll see me build my strength.”

Although this is her first new album in four years, she hardly took a break. “The first year was touring, getting pregnant, living that out,” she says. “[Then I] took a year to do the mom thing, to feel what that’s really like … then I accepted the movie ‘Burlesque’ and that was almost another year from the public eye, per say. So, there’s been a lot of work in the process.”

The video for “You Lost Me,” the latest single off her album Bionic, debuts Thursday on Vevo.com.